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John’s Happy Tails Report
6/3/13 Happy Tails From Inside And Around The Kennel And Sometimes From Behind The Tail Of An Escaped Fleeing Greyhound.

“And a-wayyyy we go.” Heard countless times by those of us old enough to remember seeing the Jackie Gleason show, ‘The Honeymooners’, one of the classic live shows of yesteryear. On Sunday I got to participate in my second dog escape and revive those old memories when our very own Jackie Gleason decided he’d had enough of me and the photo shoot and a-wayyyy he went. He backed out from a collar that was probably too loose and out maneuvered a rookie volunteer, and was off to the races. Fortunately he only halfheartedly trotted off towards the office where he cornered himself and he was recaptured. The only injuries were to Chris, who re broke his own land speed record in getting there when he heard the feared “Loose Dog, Loose Dog” Shouts, and our little volunteer who shall remain nameless, not because I’m such a nice guy, but because I forgot her name already, as I had previously promised I would. I can tell you it wasn’t Genny, we call her Jenny, but I’m assuming she goes by Genny since her real name is Genesis (I hope). Not only am I adept at forgetting everything, but I’m also capable of misstating the facts too. That was the main excitement, and I’m sorry to say that I’ve witnessed the last and only two recent escapes first hand, although I did not physically cause this one, but I have a sneaking suspicion that directly or indirectly I caused it. There may be some dull moments at the adoption kennel during the weekend, but I don’t seem to be finding them. One very valuable lesson learned, as I always look for the lessons learned after chaos. Martingale Collars should be a must for all greyhounds if they are not already. Skinny heads, quick feet can result in disaster, so please use your Martingales on your greys. I’m becoming a professional at this for all the wrong reasons, one of them being that I’ve chased down two greyhounds in the past two months, figuratively speaking of course, now I don’t even chase food, I let it come to me.

WW Char (Charlie)

WW Char (Charlie)

Without further ado, we move to the best part of the weekend, reporting the adoptions of my people. It was very quiet after last weekend’s invasion, but we still adopted out two of our girls. Primco Gator Eye, aka Penny, now known as Princess, our ten years young senior sexy lady, went to a house with other dogs and the first report is she is doing excellent with the people and the other dogs, so she’s off on the right front foot. Kiowa Mardi Gras, another of our ‘mature’ ladies, has an application and is, as I speak, packing her bags and getting ready to start her new life as a real pet. Super C Alma went home with her new people on Saturday, she must have known what was coming, she looked even more beautiful than usual, and her new name will be Luna. Yes folks, if you have the desire and a food dish in your possession, you can rename them (the dog, not the food dish) anything you want and they will pick up their new name. Call me anything you want, just don’t call me late for dinner.

Blue Brindle boy WW Char (Charlie) has returned, he didn’t get along with Eddie as famously as expected so he’s back but another candidate is probably going to attempt a home trial next weekend. If Charlie was your boy, and you think you missed him, come get him, he’s back. We do have a real return this week, KL Fine as Wine, a nice seven year old brindle girl. Her human has become deceased, so she’s been left ownerless and homeless all in one swoop. She’s a real sweetheart, and is already used to being in a real home, so those of you looking for the opposite of young and foolish might want to check this lady out and get her full story, I’m sure she’s completely housebroken and still has a full tank of love left in her heart.

KL Fine as Wine

KL Fine as Wine

No matter what the website or anyone else says, do not come looking for Jacks Wildfire, Flying Phobos, Fuzz Face Dallas, Hallo My Yolanda, or TMC’s Fantasia, they have gone to foster homes on the west coast, which is a good thing. If you hear me talk about Foster Failures, it’s a good thing. That means the people that were fostering the dogs ‘failed’, they fell in love with the dog and decided that they would keep it themselves. Happens all the time and I love it. We have a new van which means we can actually attempt to make trips like across Alligator Alley without having the tow truck’s cell number on the dash board. Besides the return of WW Char and KL Fine as Wine, we have six new arrivals. Fuzzy’s Excedrin has just retired after just over a hundred races. She’s a cute little brindle, three years old, petite, with a throaty bark like a great dane. Looking for watchdog quality bark? This could be your girl. I hope she wasn’t taking any steroids during her career; we don’t need another Lance Armstrong type incident in our kennel. I remember back in the sixties, during the Olympics, all the Russian and East German women athletes had beards and mustaches. Fuzzy has a deep voice, but so far no beard or mustache. Turbo Opal is a cute larger sized brindle girl. She had a short racing career but is a real diamond in the rough. Handballlucy, all one word, is a three year old black girl. Haven’t found out yet if she does play hand ball, but will let you know if I do. Her birthday is next week, stop in and wish her a Happy Birthday. Princess Zulieka is outgoing and very much into people, she looks like she will be a Velcro or leaner for sure. Princess is a four year old red girl, and ran ninety nine races. Black N Black is a black puppy, only ran six races that I have record of. He will be two years old next week, come on in and wish him Happy Birthday too. Windy Seth is a three year old boy, beautiful white and black ticking, and isbetter looking than even me. He also had a superb racing career. Slaytex Reno is a three year old white and red stud. If you’re looking for big and beautiful, we’re currently stocked with Reno, and Seth coming in and Whiskey Man, Aquaman, Sheba’s Prince, and Mango Max are already here and waiting for you. Last and certainly least, because he’s on my poop list for his escape, we have the infamous Jackie Gleason. Jackie is four years old, I have to admit he’s a beautiful red color, and he’s a little bit shy so far, at least with me, but he had a nice racing career with 140 races and participated in Stakes races. His feeble escape attempt belied his stellar racing career record.

There you have it, all the news that’s fit to print, and even some that isn’t. Thanks to all our volunteers, even you know who, your help is appreciated even though it doesn’t always turn out the way we drew it up and things slip away from us. Always use these experiences as lessons learned. It’s always nice to see the alumni too, feel free to stop by anytime. I missed Ramsey, but did get to see Honey and Sunny. Ramsey is the former Lane Jones and Honey and Sunny are the former CRT Jamie and Hallo Sinsoney, but I try not to use both names to conserve space, but sometimes I don’t really care. As I tell nearly everyone, thanks for stopping by to see our beautiful greyhounds, and thanks to those that help us make them available. Come see the greys on any weekend, I will be glad to talk your ear off and what I don’t know the answers to I will definitely find out for you. They may look a little strange and exotic at first, but you will see how docile but strong and loving these graceful animals are. Oh, yeah, they’re also PDQ. Pretty darn quick.