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Greyhound Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-dead squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds-I celebrate
By kissing my master.

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

My owners’ mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one